Lily’s Poem

 In News

“From time to time we have the honor and privilege of reading a piece of writing from of a child who has experienced time in foster care that truly articulates the feelings and emotional struggle he or she has felt. I am sharing a poem that was written recently by a 12 year old girl who has had an extensive history in the foster care system; she went through a lengthy time in care, a failed trial home placement and also a failed adoption…all of which was absolutely no fault of her own. Fortunately, throughout her entire experience, there was the consistent love and support of a very special therapeutic foster care family that stayed involved with her throughout all of these extremely tough times.”

Bobbi Gagnon
Family Resource Specialist
South Portland, Maine

(Note: Due to the fact that the adoption has yet to be finalized, the name of the family in the poem has been replaced with the word FAMILY to ensure confidentiality at the current time.)

 

The FAMILY’s Trust

Social workers grab my hand and take me away

From the first place I’ve ever felt okay

Why did my brother have to be so atrocious?

He would never stop being outright ferocious

NEVER trust again!

——

I try and refuse, but get in the car

The worst thing is, it’s just so far

From what I used to call my home

Where unlike my whole life, I felt safe to roam

NEVER trust again!

——

The matriarch comes in to keep me from screaming

But I could not let her win and ran off steaming

Before I could run, she took me outside

My first instinct was to go off and hide

NEVER trust again!!!!

—–

When I start to run, she does not follow

But gets some boxing gloves, so I put them on, slow

She points to a punching bag out in the yard

And I start to let my feelings out and pound it real hard

Is there a reason to trust again?

—–

Throughout the rest of the year

Bad news starts to appear

We would never go back to our parents

And my feelings burst out, a strong wave of currents

I told you not to trust again!!!

——-

But the FAMILY takes my hand all through the way

Even my brother was having a good day

But I know soon I will have to leave

I’ll get adopted, a family I will receive

Sorry, I trusted them!!

——

And soon I’m taken from another family

But this time I’m happy and I don’t flee

But when it comes to a new school, there is nowhere I belong

Everything I did, just felt so wrong

I have to trust them!!

—–

Five months later before April vacation

I’m finally feeling accepted, instead of abandoned

But at home things start feeling a little strange

And all in one car ride, my whole life changed

Not trusting again…..

—–

Not one word to my friends or soon to be family…goodbye

They told me the news and I started to cry

We can’t adopt you they gulped and sighed

My brother and I were hand in hand, “we are not mad” we replied

Trusting failed again!!!

—–

We go back to the FAMILY, now five kids in all

It was hard to manage and my brother had started to fall

Back to the horrible days

All the colors he had earned turned into grays

He’ll never trust again!!!!

—–

I also had great depression

But I could hold back my angry aggression

Month after month I started to heal

Which I thought in the beginning was somewhat unreal

Trusting again???!!

—–

Soon it was time to get adopted once more

All hope is in my face, they don’t slam the door

But when the news came as a pleasant surprise

And the exciting secret unties

Have to trust them?

——

Right next door lives the FAMILY’s son

And who I’m close to, we have lots of fun

Then one evening they sat me on the couch

They all look shy and I nervously slouch

Nervous to trust??!!

——

“Lily, we want to adopt you” they say

This was the happiest of all my days

A dream come true, a Christmas wish

Whoever knew I could feel like this

I will always trust them!!!

 

Thank you, Lily and FAMILY for sharing this. It was truly an honor to read it and we appreciate you letting us share it!

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